Historical Postings

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Long lost
In an effort to locate my childhood penpal, Amie Schaumberg, I typed her name in a google search. I think I am well on my way to finding her. Here, though, I found a poem, written by "an" Amie Schaumberg....whether or not it is "the" Amie Schaumberg I have yet to see. On I will search......but in the meantime I will enjoy this poem. :)
Ars Vitaeby Amie Schaumberg Poetry is:propitious propinquitythe truculent tarantism of thaumaturges (THAW-me-turj-es) noun[the right to say nothing in everything]synergetic synecdocheofarightgreenskyovermanhattan[with all words at once]take. the. one. ness. of. reality. to. the.outermostedge of[to find the abstract in the structural]nascentnebulousneotericnostrum[without a goal, aim, or reason of understanding]fiNd whaT is RIGHtSHOW WHAT IS goodbe what you ARE willing to be[to break down the misconstrued misconceptions of miseducation].let go of panjandrum.feed on paronomasia (Par-e-noh-MAY-zhe) noun[and feel the liberty of language]seek to ignore the importance of vapid vaingloryfeeltheedge against yourskinunderthesoftwarm glow of a muse's touch to the mind starving[to release pretension and conception]soidisant (swah-dee-ZHAN) adjective, French solecism[and know whatever you write]whateveryousaylooklikethink poetry is whatYou Are. [poetry is freedom.]

Sunday, May 20, 2007
Responding to Fear Category: Life
The skeleton content of this blog actually came from a survey......The ones in bold are the ones I wanted to respond to. The original post was one of those, "What do you fear" blogs.
I fear......
I do not fear the dark: On the contrary, I actually really like the dark.I do not fear staying single foreverI fear being a parent: Maybe being a parent, again. It is a lot of work....a lot of responsibility.I do not fear giving birth: Been there, done that.......I do not fear being myself in front of othersI do not fear open spaces: Open spaces are awesome! I love being outdoors, especially when I'm away from roads and buildings and "industrial" noise.I fear closed spaces: I get claustrophobic.....but this is mostly when I feel that my surroundings are cluttered.I do not fear heightsI do not fear black cats, dogs, birds, or fishI fear spiders: They are creepy.I do not fear driving or being in carsI do not fear flying or flowers or other plantsI do not fear being touched.....quite the contrary.I do not fear fireI fear deep water: It creeps me out when I can't touch the bottom or swim to the bottom (and still be alive)I do not fear the ocean, failure, success, or thunder/lightning.I do not fear frogs/toadsI do not fear mice/ratsI fear jumping from high places....although I would like to try skydiving someday.I do not fear snow.I do not fear rain: Helloooooo, I live in Washington. ;)I do not fear the windI do not fear crossing hanging bridges: Actually like them.I do not fear death: Death is a part of life.....and I do not fear life.I do not fear HeavenI fear being robbed (more of a distaste for this than a "fear")I do not fear cotton balls (why would someone ask this?)I do not fear clowns, large crowds, men, women, or cemeteries.I do not fear having great responsibilityI do not fear doctors, including dentists or tornadoes.I fear hurricanes.I fear diseases.I do not fear snakes (although, if I saw a really big one or a really poisionous one, I might)I fear sharksI do not fear ghosts or Friday the 13thI do not fear poverty because I believe that my motivation will get/keep me out of it. I do not fear Halloween although it isn't on my list of favorite holidays.I do not fear schoolI do not fear trains or railroads, odd numbers, or even numbers.I used to fear being alone, but I think I grew out of that.......mostly.I do not fear being blind or deaf......I would like to think that I could adapt. Mute, blind, and deaf would be a different story.I do not fear growing up....actually, quite the contrary, I fear losing childhood or childlike behavior and memories.I do not fear monsters under my bed.I fear creepy noises in the night.I do not fear bee stings.I do not fear not accomplishing my dreams/goals.I do not fear needles or blood.I would probably fear dinosaurs if they were alive.I do not fear the welcome mat.......huh, what does this mean???I do not fear logs.

Saturday, April 21, 2007
Damn you....tape deck
So, I started my day a little late today. Noon. Sent the little one to a friends house, went to study with a classmate for Math, and ended up at the shopping mecca for cheapskates, rummage queens (and kings), and "bargain hunters."......Goodwill. I really love spending a couple of hours there mingling with relics of the past and occasionally taking home some really cool artifact.
So, I mingled.......but when I was getting ready to leave I found myself strangely attracted to the "tapes" section. I am talking about music tapes here. Anyhow, I mingled though.... Cyndi Lauper, Love Songs of the 80's, Garth Brooks Greatest Hits, Elton John (yeah, weird music selection, I know) then I came across the soundtrack for Friends. That was the end of it. A combonation of music/tv nostalgia all in one perfect, cigarette pack sized casette.
Fast forward........bought it. Brought it home. Stuck it in the tape deck. "PLAY" "So, no one told me life was gonna be this wa.........." then "waaaaahahaaaaaaaa uahhhhhhhhh uahhhhh. Click click click clickkkkkk" DAMNIT!!!!!! The cassette player ate my new Friends soundtrack!!!!!!!!
So, guys.....how's that for nostalgia? Really....I mean....I got the whole package. How would a blast from the past be complete without the tape getting completely ruined. Ohhhh......my $1.99.....wasted. Damn you, nostalgia.
I'm going to go and console myself now........with my CD player. Phttt....

Monday, April 16, 2007
Thoughts for future blogging
Encapsulating experiences. Little things-->big things. Sneaky situations. Religeon...why do we believe what we believe.

Saturday, February 24, 2007
Fuel Musings
Gasoline. I use it, you use it, we all pretty much use it. Recently I wondered, "How much gasoline am I really using?" and "How much money am I spending on gas per month?"
So, I started tracking...
For this "experiment" I decided that I would really do nothing to curtail my consumption of gasoline....kind of like taking a nutrition class. "Write down EVERYTHING you eat. Absolutely every morsel of food that you put in your mouth should go down on that piece of paper and I want to see that in class on Monday morning....two weeks from now." You expect to know what you are eating.....but Monday comes and, wow, were you wayyyyy off.
So, everything went on my fuel receipts. I wrote the odometer reading at the top. Right under that I wrote down the trip meter. I circled the date, and the gallons purchased.
Here are the facts:
26 Days. 1,890 Miles. 68.879 Gallons of Gasoline. $173.18.
Which is:
72.69 miles/day average.
26,532 miles/year expected.
$2,431 fuel cost/year expected.
I ask myself, "How did I manage to do this?" I do, in fact, live about 20-25 miles from work/school....I expected that I might drive a little more than that, but consistently.............I hadn't even imagined. Little things do add up.

Friday, February 16, 2007
Mommmy
Melinda, thank you for this one. I can identify with so much of this.....I was actually enjoying some time in bed this morning when I was reading emails and such....it definitely made me a bit emotional.....
Anyhow, for everyone else......on being a mother:
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations." But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé , her best crystal without a moments hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Sunday, February 11, 2007
I love Alice in Wonderland
Alice: Can you tell me which path I should take?Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to go!Alice: I don't really know. Cheshire Cat: Then, clearly, any path will do!
I must say that I can not recall the scene in which this occurs nor do I feel that when I was eight (or around there) that I would have recognized the truth in this small conversation. "Then, clearly, any path will do!" How very true. How very applicable.

Monday, December 11, 2006
??? Current mood: melancholy
I had forgotten how much I like staying home and decompressing. Being busy all the time is so boggling. How much does it cost to buy simple?

Friday, November 24, 2006
Best Blog Ever. Ha!
(((The following "blog" is from my wonderful sister. Blunt.......and to the point. hahahaha.)))
Goodbye, cruel World! (Wide Web)
I really don't like Myspace.
Soon I will delete my account.
Anybody who wants to talk to me, should get used to E-mail again... since I never check messages here anyway.
~Me

Update soon

Just a start really. I will post soon all of the other blogs from my other networking sites. Update soon.